Salaam everyone
I'm a muslim girl born and raised a muslim lived in pakistan for the most of my life and now in states, but i have never compromised anything with my religion and I was always attached to it i prayed, i let all decision to allah i've been fasting regulary ever since i was only 6, I belong to a shia family but my mom is sunni she's my dads first cousin so you can say our whole family is mixed up .... we're not very strict but we do all things shia muslims do and good muslims do. I'm with a guy who I've known for more than half of my life I've known him for 12 years now and I'm only 19, bfore he came in my life I only cared baout myself, allah and my family and close people I never was serious with any guy or did anything bad. He changed me totally he made me love him and he loved me like anything he was always ready to do anything for me we did good things for each other not cuz we were bounded but cuz we were in love. He was a normal guy no extremities in religion just like me I was a good muslim but I was never extreme .... 2 weeks back something happened and he just changed he said allah has given him "hidaayat" to only go his way now and he can sacrifice the even the best thing in his life for it which is ME .... he says he wants to live a life which allah has suggested (for me to wear full hijaab and full coverage and listen to everythin he says as a muslim women has to listen to her husband as a rule) it just looked like simple selfishness to me but he keeps saying i don't want you to be bounded by me i just want you to live the way he has suggested .... I can never change like that I never actually went out there all lookin nice nice to attract men .... I nev acared the way I look I never even wear a dab of makeup when goin out I have my hair roughly up most times unless at parties .... i told him i can wear a dupatta on head when goin out and cover my self a little so my parts don't show but he's not ready to compromise anything. I can't believe thsi is the guy who fought the world for me he did so much for me put his life his studies eveythin on stake for me .... I'm really hurt guyz I'm not oen of those girls who can be bounded by any men I wanna live my life with my own will with the religion I have been following so far .... I know I haven't been a bad muslim but he doesn't understadn I really love him .... Is there any dua I can make to bring him back to normal?I jus let him go thinking he'll come back t me cuz allah never does bad for his people and he won't do bad for me .... I jus want him to be normal liek he was bfore It makes me cry every night .... the guy who couldn't even see a single tear out of my eye and was ready to die for jus on tear .... he's giving me so much sorrows .... he doesnt even talk to me much anymore cuz he says everytime i talk to you i want to just hold you tight do anythn and everything you want the way you want but i have to follow my allah he has shown me his way .... and if you love me you have to follow me and do everythin i say .... i dunno what im supposed to do he doesn't een understand me anymore he has changed so much even I can't believe it .... everytime I'd even go near crying he'd do anything jus to make me feel good he always kept me happy always stood by me than why not now!?i can't jus go and start a new life with someone else i've got too mcuh with him too many memories of the past i love him too much we've been best friends for 12 yrs but we've been only together as a couple for 3-4 yrs and now he's just being impossible he says he's sacrificing his emotions to live a better life but what sacrifice im the only one that will have to do nay sacrifices he'll get back everythin when n if we get married!?he's saying i gave up all my life to allah i really want him the way he was we were the best happy couple we were best friends n shared everythin everyone thought we were the best couple yet theer were jealous people who wanted me or him do you think someone has got a bad eye on our relationship?im just clueless he's like my life until now i thought only he loved me as much but now i know for a fact i do too .... please someone tell me what to do i'll be really thankful.

Assalamo Alaykom Young Sister !
Well to be Honest if you Stand to keep your relationship going to Marriage you should respect the desire of you Bf in Order to Make your status with him Hallal!
I also suggest you consider Marriage serious and play your duty in making him realize that is Harram to be together without any proof of Marriage Hallal.
It's not about how you look from outside only ,it's Also what goes on around his head! from changes..
Because Men do enjoy females but in a serious Marriage they look for a most pious which is weird sometimes!
I personally fought hard but I can't trick Allah swt!
I pray that my sins are all forgiven and grant me a right women for me since i 've divorced a christian women leaving everything behind even my clothes and Dream of the West and not have children with a wrong women..
You see what I mean?
As a Moroccan I taught the West is my dream but there are other things out there ,the right choice of my life partner ...God forbid that she bears my children!
Think of what I said and forgive me if i wasn't able to satisfy your demand ..
I resigned just for that ..

Everyone wishes to find their way in life, the path they want to follow. He obviously did, and it is his human right, not only an islamic right.I think that for you to call it selfish, is very selfish of you.
To expect him to change and be the way you want him to be, because you want it... I think you can see what is wrong with that..
He is perfectly normal,and it has nothing to do with you.I think you understand that. He changing has nothing to do with you,and everything to do with him. As he found his way in life, you should concentrate on finding yours.If it turns out to be the same as his,fine, if not, then go your way and let him go his. You are young, you have time, dont rush. Based on personal choices, I would advise you to dig a little deeper into islamic literature, and try to really understand what this great religion is,what it means, its goals. What it can do for you as a human being created by Allah.

^Yeah I agree...

This may be a little harsh, but your ex- learned to love Allah(swt), and came to the realization that he should probably try his hardest to please Him, considering He gave him everything he has in this life.


"There are two friends, and whoever follows them will enter paradise", some one asked, "Who are they?" He [Imam Jafar Sadiq (AS)] said, "The acceptance of that which you dislike when God likes it, and the rejection of that which you like when God dislikes it."


wsalaam..